Waves and experiments

They wanted to define me; to know every cell, nerve and thought which makes me. They attached electrodes, wires and hoses, any imaginable machine all over my frail body. Once, they’ve shown a picture of me tangled in wires and things and I thought how nice it would be without all those mess. They made me draw things, force me say something about anything— about life, sea and stars. They took notes and marked the chart named “Progress” while I watched drawn lines grew steeper. Everyday has always been like that.

But, one day, they took me to the sea to watch the waves; they’d like to see if I could count them all. The sun had just squeezed out of the horizon and a little gold spattered across the sky. I remembered father, now gone, telling me about God and I realized I did like God as child and I miss liking him so much. The salt spray got into my eyes and soon tears streamed down my face. The youngest of the scientist was beside me that time and I saw him scribble the word tears in his yellow notebook. He watched the waves too, until he can’t bear the sight of them. He stood up and wheeled my chair away from the shore. He said it was getting hot. I never saw the sea or the young scientist since then. If I had learned to love, I could have earned a heartache.

They attached more and more electrodes until I technically became some part of an external machine. They kept track of my “Progress” and everyone seemed to smile as I solve more mysteries for them. Satisfaction marked their faces and for a moment they looked like vampires who had just preyed on the best of blood. I hear them whisper to each other words that seemed to hang in the air. I hear those words over and over again. I was perfect.

Until some peculiar noise from the machine startled my once peaceful world. People were suddenly rushing to me and it took them a short time to swarm over me. Some pulled the electrodes, while others add another types of those. More and more machines were brought. I was injected with orange, green and red fluids. Everything blurred and every part of me ached like hell. There were frantic looks on all their proud faces but none of them seemed to really figure out what was happening to me or how painful everything was.

I held the soul-containing crystal box in my hand while the youngest of the scientists wheeled my chair along the shore. It felt good seeing him again after what seemed to be a very long time. The sun squeezed itself down the horizon and gold splattered across the sky. I remembered God and I know I liked him now and salt sprays got into my eyes. Someone said it was getting cold; I was not sure who.