And work i must

I’m finally admitting it; I’m suffering from a midlife financial crisis. On one hand, it is a little disturbing because I have to think of so much at this point. Two of my siblings were still in college and in less than a month from now, they will need, of course, payment for tuition and fees related to that. My brother, second child in the family, is waiting for his papers as he is bound to Singapore but until that day, he’ll want all the help I can give. On another, it is a tough realization and I must say a good one. I’ve been itching to “learn” what financial management is so I guess today is good day to do so.

I think yesterday will really go down in this blog (my official life book as of the moment) as the day I watched clouds form and I mean this literally. I think I have to write another entry on the matter because I think the experience is highly dramatic it can rip a heart apart, haha. From another point, yesterday was my official start on Project Kahinangan and I’m really aiming for a best kick off. But at the end of the day, I know that I failed to do that. What I accomplished was only a modest start. As I went back on the things I did that day, I realized that I made the first sin one of my bosses told me not to commit…I got totally preoccupied of the result more than the process. So, I missed out a few things. I really hope to remember his advice for the rest of the project journey…and for the rest of this life…and after life.

I have so much to rethink about this life…and of course, I still have so much to change. My world has never been as demanding and as challenging as before. And I guess I have so many things worth focusing on than crying over lost times.

Whew!

Just how blessed can I get? Last Saturday, a college housemate, discovered a 1970’s printing of one of my most loved story of all time--Katherine Paterson’s Bridge to Terabithia—from SM Davao’s NBS. And she had it for 10 pesos! She already own a copy (a more recent printing) of the book so she handed the 10-peso book to me because luckily, I was dropping by at SM before going home. Aside from that, I grabbed another book on sale from 280 something to only 75.

Of course, I had a new project assignment (which means I still have work for the next 17 months). Because of that new assignment, I wasn’t going back to sierra anymore; though I’m not exactly happy with that, I could say that it was far more comfortable for me.

I don’t think I’ve had a dose of trouble for the week and no, I’m not planning to screw the nice turn of events. But there wasn’t anything to get excited about except for…maybe…Superman’s return to the blogworld. Yes, he has returned with a post about break up, closure and all accompanied by some sad break up song. Whew! Must have loved that “Supergirl” so much and because it wasn’t my role anymore to dig on things like that…I just wish they’d cross paths again. I totally got it that the only way to get over things is to get through them. So, should they meet again, someday, somewhere, when it is time for them (as Superman puts it) there’s nothing to wish for but all the best…

So there, at least, now I am always rest assured that superman’s alright. He’s got good start in his life, he’s moving on. I don’t have to “look after” him. :D Although, I’d still go and peek once in a while what’s going on with him. Maybe, that’s what the www is here for; to give some people the chance to see a person’s life a little upclose…because that’s the closest way they could ever get.

Seeing Angels

I wasn't really the pop-rnb type of girl; though i had a chris-brown-crush too. Not really the emo one, although I can bear a little goth because of Amy Lee. I prefer country to acoustic music and I've been in love with the music of jason mraz from the fist day I've listened to him...his CD actually. :D

Not so ages ago, a canadian volunteer, who caught me singing to the whole world some of mraz's songs, gave me a name of an artist she was sure i'd like. I let her scribble the name on some paper...and of course, i lost it and couldn't remember the name until now.

So, i'm posting John Butler's Seeing Angels. Love the song. I kind of think that this fits my current mood as i've been seeing angels lately. :)

Why do I deserve such a visit
From the one I thought I'd never meet.
Beyond my greatest expectations.
You exceeded everything.
Well here I am

Take me for what you see
For I'm transparent in the light of you.
And look inside,
See that fire burning bright
The same one that you rekindled inside me

My mouth was dry
only you quenched my thirst
I thought I was last
You told me I was first.

And I thought I was seeing Angels
And now I know I was.
your wings around me
Feel good they always do.

So there I was
Ain't the same man I used to be
But do you still like what you see in me.

Still see through,
always will be with you.
can you stand to see my vulnerability

For I am frightened
Shed so much I clung onto
The only things I have left is this guitar and you.

Nowhere to run
Been out here too long
Under the sun.
Am I too afraid
To get some.
To afraid to give myself some shade
I hope and pray I do some day.

Superman Returns...

Sabi ng facebook quiz, "Hayup ka! Nabuhay ka pa...masagasaan daw sana ako ng jeep sa labas." Bukod sa pagiging hooked sa facebook, sinasabi rin ng quiz na ito kung gaano ako ka-bored. Lahat na yata ng quiz ay pinatos ko na...hindi ko nga lang dini-display ang results nung iba dahil sobrang...bakit ko naman ipagsisigawan sa buong facebook world na wala akong kwenta?!

Kanina pa, ipinaalala ng isang kaibigan na summer break na! SUmmer break? Wala akong break sa summer. At lalong ayokong makarinig ng word na break or break sounding. Short lunch break, break up, break up song ng isang tao para sa ibang tao, sirang brake ng sasakyan, lahat. Sawang-sawa na akong pakinggan ang lovestory ng mundo at sira ng mga sasakyan. kelangan kong maybiyahe ng 3 am sa lunes para pumunta sa ibang lugar na once a day lang ang biyahe. Baka kelangan kong matulog sa kalye. :(

Ba't ba ako nagbasa ng blog ng may blog at nakinig ng music para sa ibang tao. Lungkot lang ang inabot ko.

nga pala...earth day ngayon.

Sally's song (Creepy Stuffs for summer)

No. This isn't nightmare revisited but a revisiting nightmare.

Now, to the lyrics of the song (I love Amy Lee!!!).

I sense there's something in the wind
That feels like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd like to stand by him
Can't shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend

And does he notice my feelings for him?
And will he see how much he means to me?
I think it's not to be
What will become of my dear friend
Where will his actions lead us then?
Although I'd like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may, it doesn't last

And will we ever end up together?
No, I think not, it's never to become
For I am not the one

And will we ever end up together?
Ohhhhhhh

And will we ever end up together?
No, I think not, it's never to become
For I am not the one

Pitcher Plant Boy

Used to be best friends with plants
their green, their life seemed to seep in a little
in my mind, in my words.
I talk flowers, sing bees
and that's how you pop out of nowhere
like some wonder fly escaping from some uncovered jar.

Me and my friends say you're a pitcher plant boy.
Nobody but the weird wants you around.
And we mean all the mean words we say.
There might be some good in you,
but even until the world's last day
we don't want your name.

Pitcher plant boy just don't bother.
Your efforts are counted but not valued.
I talk flowers, I sing bees.
But pitchers just don't work for me.

No bear hugs for summer

In the end, there'd be two friends. I'm positive, something like that can still happen. For the summer, there were paper works and new assignments to think about and the mind has less time to be lonely.

I'm done giving away bearhugs. I wish I can just hug myself.