Graduation Ball

Yeah. Maybe it’s really a shame-on-me that it took me nineteen, no, almost twenty years to realize that, really, I’m just one plain and ordinary girl. Do I see raised eyebrows from the rest of the earth? I see one, two…only two. So it’s actually a good realization after all; no one’s really, really opposing.

Being plain and ordinary and ordinary and plain doesn’t sound so negative to me, now that I came to think of it after lots and lots of soul searching stuff and all that meditation crap. To me, this state of being, uhm, plain is so comforting and liberating. I mean, from this point on, I don’t have to pass through those x-ray-like how-special-are-you meters, genius scanning devices installed in the eyes of the educated class, and hotness-indicator laser thermometers embedded in every person’s brain. I can never be put against criteria and standards. I’d simply paste a neon post it on my forehead and mark myself “ordinary.” So let me be.

Sometimes, I really think I had a bird’s brain roaming inside a relatively spacious skull. I can even feel it move from one side to another on some boring days. It felt like some kind of a rattle or something…those stuffs we got to play with when we’re kids. Shake it and you hear nice sounds that eventually make you yawn and lull you to sleep. There are days really. I even daydreamed about it once…my head becoming a plastic rattle. It’s kind of useful. In my dream, I shook my head a million times, and the world fell asleep and alien princes got to kiss each of their slumbering witches. It’s gross.

“Wilma…”I thought I hear my mind speak but I turned around and there’s my best friend, the bestest in the world, in her long gown. She’s so pretty I can’t bear to stand beside her.

“God, what are you wearing? It’s like you’ll go gardening or something…” she smirked. It’s her way of saying that I looked like a total disaster. “Oh wait...wait… you’re not going?”

I sighed. I really wanted to go because hey, it’s college graduation ball, the event that would help us land on jobs! Everyone would think I’m such a loser if I miss this on purpose. But when I saw the long gown, I changed my mind. I am so wearing the famous blue jeans from the 80s. Then, something in my brain ticked. Suddenly, I don’t care if I’m in jeans or what.

“Of course I’m going. You should be glad I’m uglier than you tonight,” We laughed.

We continued to walk to Coffee Hall. I personally think the name of the establishment sucks. It’s the only decent place our small town had. It’s a coffee shop with ten coffee tables and nice wooden chairs. Set up a projector and a long table, it morphs into a function hall. Remove all the tables and the indoor plants and voila you have a dance floor. An alumna of our community college opened it after marrying an old, divorced and retired US Navy officer.

“Jenni! Wilma!” Andrea and her pack of witches approached us from the door. I may not be a fashion expert but I am not blind. They all looked awful...too much pressed powder…extra heavy unmatched makeup. I glanced at Jenni. She doesn’t seem disturbed by the hideous sight. I knew it. They borrowed all their gowns from Churvalu’s dress shop inside the public market and had their faces painted at some beauty parlor.

Of course there are pretty girls too. Like the batch valedictorian and her gang of mean girls I knew from high school. They wore strapless and backless and flowing cocktail dresses in the right shades. All of them got new pair of heels from the nearest city and clutch bags from as far as Andromeda. They knew a lot about makeup, after all, they’re the new age women. Tall, slender, beautiful and smart. But God knows how hard they are trying.

“You stare like you’re going to pounce on them ,” Jenni elbowed me after a while. I laughed. I can imagine how creepy I must have looked.

“Fine. I’m not staring anymore. This ball’s so boring,” I said sharply. I snatched her cocktail and drink up. Jenni shook her head. Sometimes, it’s so hard to understand how we managed around each other. We’re totally different and sometimes I hate her or she hates me so much we can almost throw punches at each other.

Way back in high school, we were five girls so closely knit together--Melanie, Sheila, Rosie, Jennifer and me—the Invincible Five. Yeah right. The name’s so superheroic like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Power Ranger and Five Man. With them, the mean girls in high school can’t step into my toes. Just when I started recognizing my place in the teenage realm, I heard a guy said that for every girl group, there’s always one ugly duckling, an odd-girl that doesn’t seem to belong. I don’t know why it hurt so much hearing it.

Melanie graduated as the batch valedictorian, went straight to college in the city, and totally forgot about us. She won’t email or reply to text messages or answer the phone. Sheila died last year after committing abortion. It’s a very dark phase for us and a total slap on our seemingly perfect friendship. Rosie dropped out of college and married her childhood sweetheart; she got three adorable kids now while her husband just left for Qatar. Jenni and I went through each semester, squeezed part time jobs in between, and managed to stick together somehow through thick and thin.

Anyways, back to the ball.

“They say Rico’s coming,” Jenni giggled while my brain froze at the sound of the name. I think I need to hear it again to unfreeze.

“Excuse me…who?”I asked again. Jenni laughed the kind of laugh that would make you want to kill her.

“Rico…class salutatorian, heartthrob, and our greatest crush in the world?”

Right. Now I suddenly had this impulse to just disappear into thin air. What’s he doing in this small town? Jenni’s so dying to see him she’s losing herself. I am so desperate trying to think of reasons why I should go home now. Rico’s a blackhole. He swallows everything around him. He walks and the rest of the world lost their meaning. I can’t see him.

“Jenni, I- I need to pee. Right now,” I said without thinking.

“Are you nuts? You don’t have to tell me, Wil. You know where’s restroom right?” she glared at me.

“No, I mean, I, uhm, need to pee at..at home,” This is bad. The stuttering is here again; all the more I need to get out of here.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous, Wil. You’re being…well…abnor..abnorm…mal again.” When Jenni’s in irritated mode, there’s nothing I can do but run. Otherwise, she’ll try to stop me to the point that she’ll even break my skull.

I sprinted out through the backdoor long before Jenni can entangle me with her spider arms. She yelled out something. I didn’t hear it.