Cards

We keep in a boxful of secrets
like blinking stars with orders to lie.
We arrange ourselves
in patterns they don't recognize.
Then break inside,
break inside.

I'm a concept dismissed
into the warp
like, yeah, a low card.
We arrange ourselves
in decks of play.
Then break inside,
break inside.

These days you try
And try hard.
It’s stars against tides.
Break inside.
We break inside.

Fall apart
and break inside.
We're two cards with lies.
Like blinking stars
or urban lights.

Break inside,
break inside.
Break inside.
Break inside.

Urban Lights

It started in a street concert where I exchanged my pride for you.

“Here’s my heart. Can you hold it?” I asked.

Then came loud music scoring and you asked. “What? I don’t hear you.”

“I’m bored,” I said in between the screams and I saw you smile.

“So you want to talk?” you asked and I nodded.

We slid past the crowd through the mix smell of alcohol, smoke and midlife crisis. The music was good and the night quite warm, but all I wanted was to get you out of there so we could watch the stars somewhere.

We sat side beside each other on the hot concrete by the sidewalk. I stared at the Christmas lights decorating posts and trees and gates. It all looked silly and beautiful at the same time.

“Life tires us so much,” you said laughing. You untied your shoelace then tied them again.

“What life? We’re barely in it,” I blurted and you frowned at the idea.

“Do you feel dead?” you asked. I shrugged that I-don’t-know-shrug. You pat me on the shoulders when you could give me a hug. It’s really crazy that I gave you my heart and you just feel tired.

We two are not stars but urban lights a-blinking. We’re silly and beautiful at the same time. Best if we'd keep this way.

Cheese of the Week No. 6

How hard can it be? I mean, the night was quite warm, the music good, but all i wanted is to get you out of there and watch the stars somewhere. I have dreamed of that night to come but when it finally did I think I ended up losing you.

I find it weird when people say we lose things that we don't have. But I guess that was all of it. You and me and the music. And I guess, that was pretty much all that is to say.

I like you but how hard can it really be?

Cards

You handed me a deck of cards and it seemed that all my wit and sensibility were gone in a split of second. But I managed to reply. It was dumb, okay. But at least, I made a very conscious effort not to be swept away.

“Unsa ma ni panghatag? Are you giving me this?”

I don’t know if I heard you right. What I remember was you said no and I regret having asked the question. But I opened the box and noticed that the top right edges of the cards were cut.

“Nganong putol? Why do they cut the edges?” I asked and from the look of your face, you kind of guessed that I am purely dumb.

“These are used cards from the casino. They cut the edges to mark them. Got these from a friend.”

My brain jumbled everything that followed. All I remember was the feeling of holding the box of cards in my left hand as if I was holding my own heart (refusing to let it fall and crash) or holding the idea of you talking to me (refusing to let go of the moment but trying hard not to dwell on it).

I handed you back the cards and thought of saying I like you. But the line doesn’t fit the conversation. I walked away and regretted.

You see, love isn’t like a deck of cards. Not everyone has the same chance to be picked out of the rest. The princes will always dig for the prettier and nicer Queen of Hearts while the low cards generally have to wait for that miracle dance.

I heard you seem to like the Queen of Hearts. And I guess she sees you too. I remember her describing her “type” and you quite match the description. I remember too, having said to myself, that if it happens, that you two were each other’s prayer, I will cry for a thousand years or less. Maybe ten years.

But right now, I’m gonna let me stay in one corner. And maybe, try to hint. That if, by some miracle, you’ll pick me out of the deck, I promise to make you smile every waking day for the rest of your life.